Do you ever listen to a song and it just transports you to another time and space? This particular song: Every time the sun comes up from Sharon Van Etten.. it just takes me to a train ride through the Alps, on my way to meet my lover, at sunset with the trees and mountains passing by rapidly, watching the colors of the landscape change from green to pink and pale brown, the orange sunlight caressing my face dearly, closing my eyes with love and light. Ahh.. I love it.
Here it is. Give yourself 3 minutes to listen to create a music video in your head. (One of my favorite hobbies, haha)
Anyways…
Hi, Friends!
How have you been?
I’ve been quite well. It’s been a crazy ride. Lots of ups and downs (but mostly ups to be honest.) The roller coaster called life keeps spinning and going round and round and sometimes I feel like I’m calling the conductor like “hey dude, I’m tired of this, can we stop now?” and he responds “nope, it’s so much fun! Let’s go another round!”
I have so much writing to do and so many stories to share. And it’s funny because I think I’ve been saying this for the last 2 years: “At some point, I’m gonna take the time to stay at home and write some blog articles, edit my videos and photos, learn some new skills, read my favorite books, do a Harry Potter marathon, train to be able to do 10 push-ups, etc.”
And now… here we are. Universe, you’re a funny one!! So how could I complain? I was given exactly what I was asking for. But the way I got it is simply hilarious.
Let me tell you a funny story.
It was late November, and I was having lunch at my favorite vegan deli from Medellin, Colombia. When I messaged a friend, Lorena – to ask her when is her next Foundation class in Bucharest, she said it’s on Feb 7. I had just booked my flight to arrive on Feb 3 so basically it was meant to be. Then I asked her how much it costs and she said 4250 lei (somewhere around 850€). My heart skipped a beat hearing this price, but I had already taken my decision, so I thought to myself with trust “Ok, that’s a lot. But I’ll make it. I know it!”
Disclaimer: we will be talking about a lot of personal information, connected to a modality I started to practice and learn in July called Access Consciousness. Also money, travel, COVID-19 and more! Just keep an open mind and be respectful of my experience.
Said and done.
Lots happened in between but those are stories for another time.
Now, when I arrived in Bucharest I felt extremely happy to meet my best friends and family again. To be surrounded by love, friendship and people that truly cared about me. It’s true, there’s no place like home. And this is when I truly felt it for the first time. I was over the moon to catch up with old friends from childhood, high-school, University, AIESEC, and beyond. It was fantastic.
Still, I went to the first day of this class with A LOT of stuff to work on. I knew nothing about this class other than the fact that it is going to show me that a different reality is possible. (A reality where nothing is judged and where being myself is the best thing I could do. A reality where loving and accepting myself, following my intuition, and feeling extremely happy as possible and not condemned.)
The first day passed by and I felt extremely sad and tired and upset, and I felt like I paid “this huge amount of money” to feel like this… I arrived at my parents’ place and I got into a little argument with my mom. Everything felt like shit basically.
The second day I went there almost crying, feeling like a victim, poor me, why does everything happen to me, why do I have to fight with my parents, why do I have to struggle, why can’t the other people leave me alone, why do I have to feel this way? Lol… I was in a bad state. Lorena, the facilitator, helped me with lots of processes (from Access), questions, the clearing statement, and more discussions… I started to feel like I was re-becoming myself. I felt as if my wings opened and I could fly above this situation and see it as a bird sees a crowded park with people walking around on top of each other. And I felt like laughing at myself for being stuck in that crowded park (that was my mind full of these destructive thoughts). Now, being the bird, the only thing I could do was fly, the only thing I could see was the blue sky, and the only thing I could feel was happy and free! How magical!
That evening I got my bars run and I received a wonderful body process called MTVSS that simply unblocked all the crap and pain and suffering stuck in my body. Needless to say, I was feeling fantastic!
In the metro, on my way home, I started looking up in international classes. And I felt that I wanted to meet the co-founder, Dr. Dain Heer. So I decided that I’m going to a class in Barcelona on March 13 called “Being you, Changing the world”. Named after the book he wrote (that changed my life last year). Btw, since we were talking about the prices of the classes, this one was 1300€ HAHAHAHAHAHA….. cool!
During the third day, I and another class participant, Mihaela, sent our confirmation for attending the “Being You” class. Then we destroyed everything holding us stuck in a reality of limitations, conclusions, and points of view. Then I got my bars run. Again, I was flying in the sky…
The fourth day was interesting because it was when we touched the last interesting topics to get me to another level of consciousness. I was ready to receive EVERYTHING from the Universe. So beautiful!
If you’re confused about what all of these terms are like bars and access and clearing statements. Write me a message and I’ll explain. Or come to a class. Or learn more on the accessconsciousness.com website. Hahaha. What else is possible?
In the next 2 weeks, I was exploding and blooming and feeling like I’m on top of the world. Meeting my friends, getting inspired by how much everyone has grown and developed, how I was attracting beautiful and like-minded people around me… So beautiful. My Access Bars business was growing and more and more people wanted to get their bars run. Extraordinary.
What I learned from this was that I WAS THE CHANGE. I chose happiness and possibilities. I was the energy of literally everything is possible, and the people that wanted that in their lives as well we’re magnetically attracted to me and me to them. How does it get any better than that?
After this beautiful time spent in Bucharest, I went to Austria, Oberndorf to spend some time with Martin, my boyfriend. To walk around in nature, have food at our favorite restaurants, visit our friends and their newborn baby. Working was fun but I was having trouble concentrating because as flexible working online is, you need a discipline of steel, and after the Foundation I had the discipline of a butterfly – wanting to fly everywhere, to write, to talk to my friends and Martin, to walk around, to do this and this and that, but having to be at the desk with my eyes in a screen was kind of tiring. So that lowered my energy and confidence so I started to fall back in my coping mechanisms from the past: procrastination, drama, overthinking, focusing on the things that didn’t go well in my life. And all that crap!
Using the tools I learned in Access really helped me to get it under control, but it felt super hard to keep myself balanced, like the bird I was talking about earlier. It’s so funny how our little minds work, and how when we choose to hop on the mind train we fall so fast into a waterfall of thoughts and analysis and “what the hell am I doing with my life” and buying into other people’s realities and becoming super depressed and stressed.
Now the time for “Being you Changing the world” class was approaching. So I traveled to Barcelona, I tried to keep my being sane and healthy (this is when the COVID19 situation was becoming more stressful for me and the world – especially in Europe).
On the first day of the “Being you” class, I felt extremely tired and stressed out. I felt again like everyone is against me, I’m making a huge mistake, I’m spending “all this money” for nothing. What the hell am I doing in Spain, hoping I could get back home. Wow…
And then Dr. Dain Heer entered the room and everything disappeared. I was completely present, listening to what he had to say, letting go of everything he was destroying, and finally acknowledging the fact that the CHOICE is ours to be upset, and stressed, OR to be happy, present, and make room for consciousness. That we have a deeper knowledge and awareness and that we should guide our lives according to that, not according to all the crap everyone else (and the news) are reporting. Wonderful… So many lessons learned.
Again, I was flying, feeling high on happiness and joy. Everything felt right again and I was seeing the true me again, the true being inside who is peaceful and calm.
The second day was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. In the morning, I was getting my bars run while listening to a global call with the founder of Access Consciousness – Gary Douglas, about the coronavirus in the world. Such a unique experience. Tears were falling down my face and I felt like floating on a cloud.
Then… an infinity of lessons learned. Towards the end of the day, I head a girl behind me saying “And this is just the first day!! We have 2 more to go!” I was feeling so excited.
On the way home I wasn’t walking, I was floating. I was laughing, smiling, being my exuberant and happy me. Totally in tune with the blessing of existence.
At 8 pm I called Martin and told him how infinitely happy and grateful I am.
At 9 pm I got a phone call saying that the “Being you” class wasn’t about the take place on Monday (the last day) and that Spain and Romania are going on lock-down. That we needed to return to Romania the next day, otherwise we will either be stuck in Barcelona (for an undefined period, or having to go into quarantine when we re-enter the country).
At 10 pm I was having a panic attack because the last-minute flight I was about to book jumped from 230€ to 403€ in 5 seconds.
At 10:30 pm I finally booked a direct flight to Bucharest with 440€.
At 11 pm I got another call saying that the class is completely canceled, the hotel is shutting down and that we will get another class in return.
At 12 am I was in utter disappointment and sadness. I felt like I was sitting in a hole of darkness and misunderstanding. I couldn’t understand why now, why here, why all this money, why whenever I feel so happy “something has to happen.” I was trying to ask “what’s right about this I don’t see?” But I simply couldn’t see it.
The next day at 8 am I was at the airport.
At 11 am I found out that Lorena, the facilitator from the Foundation class, she got on the same flight as us to go back to Bucharest.
I met with her and told her how I felt and she said one thing:
“What if instead of being in all of the conclusions you have about this situation you would ask – What else is possible?”
So I did. We went on the plane. I asked “What else is possible?” again and again and again. And then the sadness just kind of seemed to dissipate. We took off and I started seeing one of the most beautiful views of my life. The sea meeting the shore, the fluffy clouds making space for us, the sky blue meeting the sea’s blue.. wow, the Earth was reviving and so happy for this little break. I felt her breathing and playing with the colors saying “Look at me, I’m so pretty, and blue, and cute, and infinite, and I’m always going to be here to have fun with the humans on the planet.”
Then I started listening to an audio file we received from Dr. Dain Heer. After 50 minutes I felt like I was reborn. I felt like I opened my eyes and I was seeing again after the darkness that I was into the last hours. I felt so grateful for this opportunity. And I started to laugh in gratitude thinking “OMG this is the best 500€ flight I ever took!!”
After reading half of a book I just bought from the class, super grateful that I got to buy these books before the class got canceled, how cool is that? I started to feel grateful for my magical abilities, for my magical self, for my wonderful heart, for my cute body being so healthy. For the wonderful Access tools I have to keep me centered and balanced.
And then I started to understand that this experience was EXACTLY what I needed. It was the perfect lesson the Universe gifted me. And when I think that I wasn’t willing to receive it? Hahaha, so funny!!
You might wonder what the hell the lesson is? Paying almost 2000€ for a 1 & 1/2 days class and a 3h flight from Barcelona to Bucharest? Planning a whole month of work around this and going from country to country in the midst of a global health crisis? So “irresponsible” and “careless”?
For me, the lesson was seeing how fast I can bounce back. How fast my perspective is changing my reality not the other way around. How fast things can go from spectacular to shit, and that the only person in charge is me, and how my choices of either feeling defeated or feeling infinite and untouchable can change EVERYTHING.
What a wonderful lesson, and what a wonderful ending. Now I’m at home. I have so much time to work, and write, and sing, and play, and hug my mom, and eat and do yoga, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Focusing on gratitude and positivity.
If you made it this far, thank you! And here’s a process for you:
Let’s have some fun!
xoxo – Andreea
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